Recently, I set out on a new endeavor. To those who know me well, they won't be surprised in the least by that first sentence. I have flights of fancy. It's just in my nature. I'm a dreamer and very rarely do I follow through with many of my schemes, but I'm getting better. I'm prioritizing my dreams and plans and thoughts and figuring out which I'd like to pursue and which I'll have a character in a book figure out. So far it's working.
This new endeavor challenges me on many levels, but I'm finding that emotionally it takes a far greater toll than I ever thought it would.
I get frustrated.
I doubt myself.
I start to believe I'm not smart enough.
I can't do it.
This isn't what I want.
And then I start to cry. I cry because there is a battle going on inside my mind that tells these negative, impacting thoughts they are wrong. A battle against the dark by the light. And some days, the dark wins. But like rays of sunshine piercing through storm clouds, I remember the timeline of my path and future. I remember that this day is only a moment on that timeline and years from now I'll look back from behind the desk of a scientist at the time I was struggling with College Algebra. I'll be able to laugh and stand proud that I fought through the struggle rather than succumbing to it.
And for the days I forget; when the storm pervades and the clouds in my eyes unleash their down pour, my husband steps in and says:
This was a quote his football coach told him during practice and I've come to fall in love with it. It is the strongest voice in my head breaking through the jungles of doubt which have sprouted so fiercely. It means when we try, we try completely. If we screw up, we screw up completely. It means not being afraid of failure and if we are going to fail, let's fail in epic proportions.
This got me thinking how often this saying could be used in different contexts and how often we need a reminder in our endeavors to go all in and see what happens.
So here is my motivator for you, I hope one rings home:
Be bold.
Be foolish.
Have courage.
Make mistakes fully, completely, recklessly, aggressively.
